FALL FROM GRACE..

Yes, it’s true what you’ve heard about me, I’ am falling from grace where everything that I used to have is no longer available for me. My intelligent is gettin’ looser and looser where it had cause me to fail on my Pharmacology test where I can see my marks is lower than I expected. At first I thought I’ am going to improve on it but it turnout the other way which is SUCKS! I really want to be a Medical Officer and able to get in to University taking Medical studies but with such a failure on one of the major subjects plus it is one of the requirement to enter the Institute therefore my chances of being accept to enter the institution is slightly low.

Why am I saying such stuff?

I woke up with such a good mood this morning, feeling everything would turn out alright, hoping of having an incredible day but once I looked at my Pharmacology test result, I’m thinking “Where did I do Wrong?, How can it be this way?” I wasn’t expecting this. I worked hard for it and expecting such a good pay back but instead I’ve got this. I mean what the fuck is this? I seriously think this is so unfair but who am I to say, everything is out of my hand. I guess the old phrase is true where it say’s “Kita Hanya Boleh Merancang, Tuhan Yang Menuntukan Segalanya"

It does hurt me a lot knowing that for the first time in life I had failed on something that I loved the most even though I have work hard and spent so much time studying. I’ am really hurt. I called Hj Sabri and Mas for a consult , both give me such an amazing support and words of encouragement but still I just couldn’t stop crying from inside. My heart is broken like a broken glass, a beautiful rose that reached its parish moment. Out of 28 people who resit the test again, only 16 Passes and 12 didn’t make it, with shame I admit I’m one of those 12 people who just couldn’t get through. What sad is this time, not only I didn’t make it, I did poorly the test, I mean I really did bad this time, the first time I took the test, I’d scored 90% but this time I scored 40% which is a shock to me. I wasn’t expecting this at all where I drop a 70% of my performance.

I couldn’t focus on my study at all for today where I just kept on thinking where did I go wrong, I’ am aware why did I fail my test. It’s because of those damn unit names. Fuck it. Screw everything. At this moment I couldn’t care less about anything other than getting stone or drunk. I really need to get off this mess.

This morning, Hj Sabri forward me an eye opening message where it inspires me to make a choise.

When You Wake Up..
You Have 2 choices,
You Can Be Angry/Mad/Stressful/Uncooperative

OR

You Can Be Forgiving/Lenient/Happy/Positive

OR

Work Hard To Get What You Want..

IT’S YOUR CHOICE, YOU DECIDE

With Love: Amirul